This last week was a difficult week for me. I know, it’s starting to be a bit of a habit to complain. On Friday the bomb finally bursts and I break down on Dan’s shoulder (the sweetheart). I feel trapped, lonely and sad, I want to do so much but I don’t know how. I feel like I’m not getting any further and I don’t see a future. He made a good point in telling me that I should start learning Danish. I can cry whatever I want about feeling trapped and lonely, if I don’t learn the language it’s not helping me one bit. In the end I’ll only get there by studying and more studying. I have the advantage of being in Denmark at the moment. But I have to start learning the language to actually understand what people are talking about.
In the weekend we drove back to Dutchyland (= The Netherlands) to get my bicycle. That should at least make it easier for me to go places. I have to admit, I usually don’t really like these roadtrips. The first 3 or 4 hours are pretty good, but the last hours always seem to drag forever. Then on Saturday evening a quick stop at my mom’s so I could see my family again for a bit, and then on Sunday it was back to Denmark again.
Today was an interesting day however. On advice of Dan I made a list today with all the things I actually want. I want to lose at least 28 kg. Ofcourse, in small steps, but it does feel good to give myself a goal to work forward to. I don’t want to work with losing a certain amount every week. Everyone says it’s important to NOT be on a diet but instead change your lifestyle. Now, I really hate it whenever someone says that, but I guess it’s true. So every week is different and therefor how much weight you lose too.
I want to learn to Speak and write Danish. This doesn’t have to be perfect, but I want to be able to follow conversations and with a bit of luck watch Danish movies. Would be even better if I’d be able to actually join conversations, but so far I’m having a lot of trouble with pronouncing words the right way. I ordered a home study, hopefully it’ll be delivered soon and I can start learning.
And I want to clean up one of the extra rooms upstairs and make a room for myself out of it. Part of it will be an office, so I can work on my blog. It’s easier to put my mind to it when I’m in a “word area” so to speak. The other part I want to make into a small exercise area. Nothing fancy, just a yoga mat and a little bit of room for exercising.
It was hard to find motivation but I guess I realized that there won’t change anything just by sitting down and doing nothing. I learned about myself that I don’t always see the way out, even if it’s simple. I just keep turning in circles. So I’m just hoping that next week will be a better and more positive week. Remember, everyone can have it difficult sometimes. The important thing is not how often you fall down, but how many times you get up again.