Update week #6: Scared of going to the dentist
It’s been quite a while since I wrote my last weekly update and there’s a good reason for it. A few days after my last update I lost a tooth all of a sudden. Now, I guess this would be the time to explain that I am terrified of the dentist. If I know that there’s an appointment coming I’m already nervous a few days in advance. For a few years I didn’t even go to the dentist at all. But I started dieting and I really hated to know that my body was starting to look better but I wouldn’t be able to smile. So, I gathered all of my courage and made an appointment.
Now, about 8 months later, I have my smile back. Making me unbelievably happy every time I look in the mirror or talk to people. However, a lot more needs to be done. Sometimes I’m really afraid that in the end what we’re doing is not enough. That I will loose my teeth and that I won’t have money to replace them. I can only continue down this path however, hoping that it’ll be enough.
Anyway, like I said, I ended up with a tooth in my hand instead of in my mouth. Horror! It felt like I was back to not being able to smile all over again. I called the dentist on Tuesday and finally, on Thursday evening, he had time. Once there it was clear what had happened really quick. This was a tooth he had already treated but it wasn’t enough. The root was still there but the tooth he fabricated to put on top of it didn’t have a proper surface to hold on to. So it fell out.
The solution was a root canal treatment, in which he placed a metal stick in the root of the tooth so it could hold the fake tooth on top of it. So far so good, he was even nice enough to do it on Friday so I could still go to Denmark in the weekend.
Friday and Saturday went reasonably well. On Saturday there was a little party for my grandparents who are married 55 years. Then Sunday came. Dan was there, most of my bags were packed and ready and it was time to leave for Denmark which we did. Only, my teeth hurt terrible. We tried everything, I lived from painkillers to the next moment on which I’d be allowed to take them again, crying in between. The pain was really bad.
We made it to Denmark and on Monday I called my dentist in the Netherlands. He told me to wait another day, the pain should get better. He was right, eventually it was at least bearable and I could eat a little bit more normal food. Until that day I mainly lived on babyfood and soup.
Then, just when everything seemed to be going better, it got worse again. There was an infection and I had to get antibiotics and another root canal treatment for the tooth next to it that was having issues. Luckily, Denmark has good dentists as well. In the end, it cost me 3 weeks of pain, feeling tired and very nervous and worried for the dentist visits but right now, everything is stable.
That’s more than can be said for myself unfortunately. Exercising is a word that didn’t exist in my life for the past weeks. Dieting and eating healthy also went to the background. I find it very hard to go back to this once more. Why be on a diet when you can enjoy all that wonderful food? Why exercise when you really hate it? I haven’t found the answers to those questions yet, to be very honest. However, I need to keep going and somehow find something that works for me. The next week I’ll start making recipes again. Maybe even start exercising but everything in me is so strongly against it.
I know it’s easy to tell me that I should “just do it and don’t be a baby.” I just can’t see how to convince myself. Eating food makes me happy, exercising does not make me happy. I’m not sure what to do. with a little luck I’ll have found an answer in the next update. For now I wish you all a very nice week.
By the way, if you come to this page because you have dentist fear. Please do not hesitate to send me an email about it if you have any questions.
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